Summary:

Do you ever worry what other people think about you or something you did? Do you worry about what other people might think of something you’re planning to do? Does that sometimes hold you back?

Would you do more, be more, make a bigger impact in the world if you didn’t constantly worry about what other people are thinking? I’m guessing if you’re being honest with yourself that the answer is yes.

I’ve spent a big part of my life both as a kid and as an adult being overly concerned about what other people might think.

I’m trying to change that. Although I’m not perfect at it, I’m a lot better than I used to be and my life has improved a lot as a result.

One of my favorite authors and philosophers, the late Dr. Wayne Dyer, has a great quote which he borrowed from the legendary psychologist Dr. Abraham Maslow. What he says is “We should all be independent of the bad and good opinions of other people.”

Dr. Dyer says that we should live our lives without concern for what other people think, and of course he’s not saying that we should be doing bad things. We should always do things that are good. What he is saying is that we should do things that are in alignment with our purpose, our passions, our goals and our unique paths in life.

I wrote a book called From Autopilot to Authentic.

In this book I wrote about how I finally woke up in my mid 40s and I started moving my life from what I call “autopilot,” which is living a life in a direction set by other people, according to other people’s expectations to instead living a life according to my compass, my direction, along my unique path.

Wayne Dyer’s advice played a huge part in my awakening and in guiding many of the changes that I made in my life. Be independent of the bad and good opinions of other people. At least for me that’s pretty easy to understand, but it’s not easy to do.

It means that we shouldn’t be affected by criticism. As long as we’re not hurting somebody or hurting some thing, it shouldn’t matter if people disagree with us. We should be brave and authentic and courageous and we should venture forth regardless of the criticism.

Before I wrote my book, another author advised me to be ready for the book to change relationships with some people. She told me that there would be people out there who would openly criticize my book and people who would openly criticize me. She was right. Not only did some people criticize my book, some people hated my book and wrote terrible reviews about it.

I get criticized from time to time on other aspects of my work and my life.

I know this is not going to stop and in fact, as long as I continue to do my thing, to do my work, to do my art, the haters will continue to do their thing. When this happens, I quietly say to myself “Brett, be independent of the bad opinions of other people.”

What’s this about being independent of the good opinions of other people? Are good opinions bad? Is it bad if other people like me and what I’m doing? Of course not.

What is bad is to be doing things in order to receive praise, to be fueled by other people’s “good opinions.” Doing things in order to get praise or other people’s opinions, that can quietly divert your path from doing what you should be doing to doing things more for the applause, more for feeding your ego. Self-actualized people, the healthiest people, they’re not motivated to feed their egos.

According to Wayne Dyer, the things that we do, the actions that we take, they should be done because they’re the right things to do. Period. Not because we get the satisfaction of hearing praise or job well done or even thanks.

I philosophically understand the point here being independent of the good opinions of other people, but boy is it hard, is it hard to live that out in real life.

My goal is to get better at this day by day, to live more of my days truly independent of the opinions, the bad opinions and the good opinions of other people.

Think about it.

Do you see how this makes sense? I dare you to try it as well. To steal the words from that guy on the old Men’s Wearhouse commercial, “If you do, I think you’re going to like the way you feel.”

Go for it!

Related quotes to consider

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FULL TRANSCRIPT

Do you ever worry what other people think either about you or something you did, and do you worry about what other people might think of something you’re planning to do? Does that sometimes hold you back? Would you do more, be more, make a bigger impact in the world if you didn’t constantly worry about what other people are thinking? I’m guessing if you’re being honest with yourself that the answer is yes. I know for me I’ve spent a big part of my life both as a kid and as an adult like being overly concerned about what other people might think.

I’m trying to change that. Although I’m not perfect at it, I’m a lot better than I used to be and my life has improved a lot as a result. One of my favorite authors and philosophers, the late Dr. Wayne Dyer, has a great quote which he borrowed from the legendary psychologist Dr. Abraham Maslow. What he says is “We should all be independent of the bad and good opinions of other people.” Think about that.

Dr. Dyer says that we should live our lives without concern for what other people think, and of course he’s not saying that we should be doing bad things, things that would hurt other people or hurt the planet. We should always do things that are good. What he is saying is that we should do things that are in alignment with our purpose, our passions, our goals and our unique paths in life.

I wrote a book called From Autopilot to Authentic. In this book I wrote about how I finally woke up in my mid 40s and I started moving my life from what I call “autopilot,” which is living a life in a direction set by other people according to other people’s expectations to instead living a life according to my compass, my direction, along my unique path. Wayne Dyer’s advice played a huge part in my awakening and in guiding many of the changes that I made in my life. Be independent of the bad and good opinions of other people. Be independent of the bad opinions of others. At least for me that’s pretty easy to understand, but it’s not easy to do. I get the point. It means that we shouldn’t be affected by criticism.

As long as we’re not hurting somebody or hurting some thing, it shouldn’t matter if people disagree with us, if they mock us, if they shun us. We should be brave and authentic and courageous and we should venture forth regardless of the criticism. Before I wrote my book, another author advised me to get ready. She told me to be ready for the book to change relationships with some people. She told me that there would be people out there who would openly criticize my book and people who would openly criticize me. She was right. Not only did some people criticize my book, some people they hated my book and they wrote terrible reviews about it.

I get criticized from time to time on other aspects of my work and my life. You know what? I know this is not going to stop and, in fact, as long as I continue to do my thing, to do my work, to do my art, the haters will continue to do their thing. When this happens, when the haters share their hate, I quietly say to myself “Brett, be independent of the bad opinions of other people.”

Wait, what’s this about being independent of the good opinions of other people? Are good opinions bad? Is it bad if other people like me and what I’m doing? Of course not. What is bad is to be doing things in order to receive praise, to be fueled by other people’s “good opinions.” Doing things in order to get praise or other people’s opinions, that can quietly divert your path from doing what you should be doing to doing things more for the applause, more for feeding your ego. Self-actualized people, the healthiest people, they’re not motivated to feed their egos.

According to Wayne Dyer, the things that we do, the actions that we take, they should be done because they’re the right things to do period, not because we get the satisfaction of hearing praise or job well done or even thanks. Guys, I philosophically understand the point here being independent of the good opinions of other people, but boy is it hard, is it hard to live that out in real life.

My goal is to get better at this day by day, to live more of my days truly independent of the opinions, the bad opinions and the good opinions of other people. Think about it. Do you see how this makes sense? I dare you to try it as well. If you do, to steal the words from that guy on the old Men’s Wearhouse commercial, “If you do, I think you’re going to like the way you feel.” Go for it. Thanks.

 

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